Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

SOCIOLOGY

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

BIOLOGY

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

ENGLISH

Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

TECHNOLOGY

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

RELIGION

Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lay eggs.

A large glacial lake that formed less than 30 years ago has suddenly disappeared, leaving a snaking, ten-story crater, Chilean park rangers announced this week.

The remote, unnamed lake is in Bernardo O'Higgins National Park, about 1,240 miles (2,000 kilometers) south of the Chilean capital, Santiago. The seldom visited, five-acre (two-hectare) lakebed was brimming as recently as March.

So where did all that water go?

One theory suggests an earthquake opened a crack in the lake floor, draining the lake like so much bath water. Chile-based glacier expert Andres Rivera, though, suggests that ice floes blocking a natural outlet gave way.

And another one.

Woe! Lake begone!

23-acre body of water disappears in St. Louis suburb

Lake Chesterfield went down a sinkhole this week, leaving homeowners in this affluent St. Louis suburb wondering if their property values disappeared along with their lakeside views.

The sight had 74-year-old George English scratching his head.

“It’s disheartening, getting out on your deck and seeing this,” he said as he stood next to wife, Betty, and the “lakeside” condominium they bought in 1996 for its view. “One day it’s a beautiful lake, and now, bingo, it’s gone.”

Some residents said they noticed that the lake, after being swelled by torrential rains weeks earlier, began falling last weekend. The Englishes said they noticed the drop-off Monday.

By Wednesday, the manmade lake — normally seven to 10 feet deep in spots — had been reduced to a mucky, stinky mess.

David Taylor, a geologist who inspected the lakebed Wednesday, told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that the sinkhole was formed when water eroded the limestone deep underground and created pockets in the rock. The sinkhole was “like a ticking time bomb.”

The lake and surrounding housing development date to the late 1980s. The development now includes more than 670 condominiums and houses, about one-tenth of them bordering the lake.

Because the lake is private property, the subdivision’s residents will have to cover the cost of fixing it, probably through special property assessments. George English expects it to cost $1,000 a household.

It is a price English said he is willing to pay. He just wants the unsightly pit gone, either by refilling it with water or dumping enormous amounts of dirt into it to create green space or usable land.

“I think it’ll come back again,” he said. “You have to hope they can fix it.”

Justin's on terminal leave ( paid time off till he's no long active duty in the Navy) right now. He enters the reserves sometime at the end of March, but other than that we're DONE!! :) Yeayy.

He officially started his new job today. :) He started at Riverside Tool and Die Company. He's a machinist guy of some sort, technically he's doing a job that I know absolutely NOTHING about really, so I can't answer a ton of questions. The place is only about a mile away from the recruiting office, which sucks cuz we'll STILL be throwing money away on gas..but with the new car and good gas mileage, I guess it's not that big of a deal.

Things have been okay around here. I've been unreasonably sick ever since practically Xmas Eve. It's too long to explain, but that's why I've been gone for so long. I've just been sick FOR-E-VER. Ugh. Today I feel pretty good. No hacking cough, no conjuctivities in my eyes, no strep throat or stomach flu....I could go on and on, but lets just say TODAY I'm not sick with any of the 100 million different things I HAVE been sick with. :)

Other than the trips to the doctors and whatnot, things are going pretty smoothly around here. We've got wood floors in our office now, the hallway is painted, the truck got tuned up, my car had the 3,000 miles checkup done, the garage is cleaned out again...I swear, Justin did a TON of stuff the 8 days he had off before starting his new job. It's been so nice to have help, especially since I was sick for 6 of those days. :)

I'm making chicken fried steak tonight to celebrate his first day, it's his favorite meal. AND I'm making his favorite cake. He sounded ecstatic when he called on his lunch break, so I hope he's still happy when he gets home!!

Okay, I know that I sound like a wife from the 1950's right now, but it's just such a big day for him that it's all that's been on my mind. :) I'll update about MYSELF later on, I promise. :) Either way, the cake is beeping and I have clothes to put away so I have to go for now. I'll tell you all about the *possible* job I might be getting at the U.S. State's Attorney's Office in Peoria when I get a chance.

Later all!